1:09 AM - I laid down in darkness. Silence. I needed ear plugs to drown the thumping. Thump. Thump. Thump. My heart was digging its way to my back as I lie motionless, face up, on the mattress. Will the tests show evidence of seizures? Maybe I'll pray. Can't pray. I can't think right now. She's too little to have seizures. I'm sure it will be nothing. Oh my God, what if this is just the start of something serious?
2:12 AM - My head hurts from thinking. I want to sleep and forget all this thinking. It's too much to bear. Maybe I should make a trip to Pittsburgh in the morning to visit Tony and Linda and to help support them as they wait for the tests to be done on Maria. For God's sake, she's only four months old! Can't be seizures. How will they ever live with this?
4:32 AM - I must have dozed off a bit. The clock is blurry. Soon they'll be waking Maria to start her tests. I'm going to try to pray. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, they will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.......oh my God, this is too formal....I just need you, God to touch your hand on Maria Lynn today and heal her from anything that is not right with her. Please heal her mommy and daddy too so that they can make the right decisions when they have to deal with exams and medicine and maybe even surgery. Please heal her grandparents who have already prayed to you for so many things throughout the years. I know that I"m not always good when I have to pray, but right now I hope these words are good enough for you because I can't act too mechanical at a time like this. Just let me know what I have to do and I will do it in your name. Heal Maria.
8:07 AM - Overslept. I have to be at my friend Gina's at 8:30 AM. Shower - makeup - hair. Of all times for the phone to ring -Dr. Scutella's office trying to straighten out my prescription request after three days! Who cares? I just want to know how Maria is right now. Where is she? Getting her MRI? How do they do an MRI on a baby? I wonder if her mommy and daddy can hold her hand. I hope so. It would make me feel better if they can.
8:24 AM - I get an email from Carol stating "I spoke with Buzz last evening. She is such a sweetie and our prayers are with her and the family!!!"
9:27 AM - Email from Buz: This is our little "love" - Maria Lynn - Tony & Linda's daughter. While this picture seems horrifying she is actually having an EEG. I'm sending this on so my good relatives and friends will keep her in your prayers. The last couple weeks - Linda has seen her "roll her eyes" back on a few occasions - so their pediatrician referred her to Children's Hospital (UPMC) in Pittsburgh for tests. As of this writing Maria has been on this EEG around 18 hours or so and Tony just informed me that they didn't see any abnormalities during this time. Maria's development and vitals are very good - and they are just waiting to see what they do next. Yesterday they mentioned they would do an MRI and perhaps a spinal tap today but as of a few minutes ago they cancelled those because of the good EEG readings. They will keep her on it for a while yet and I don't know what they will do next. Yesterday they talked about the possibility of seizures - but they did not diagnose it as of yet. I'm asking for prayers for our little grand-daughter that whatever this is - it will be either very treatable or something she outgrows without any long term effects.
PS: Please forward this message on to prayer chains, other relatives who I don't have on my e-mail list at work, etc. I appreciate your prayers. love, Buz
10:55 AM - I'm sitting in Dr. Lu's office in St. Marys, waiting for an eye examination. Can't think. I know I should go to Pittsburgh to see Maria and spend time with Tony and Linda. Don't know what to do. Don't want to be a burden to them either. Maybe they want to be alone. Just don't know. Just sent prayer requests out to my Cursillo group, asking for prayers. I don't know if God will listen to my prayers. I need help. Please, someone help. My stomach has knots and I can't swallow very well. There's a lump in my throat and it getting pretty sore right now. I don't know why.
11:29 AM - I hear from Bink. Her email says "Shes in our prayers...what a BEAUTIFUL baby..." and a sweet little cartoon that livens up the mood. I know the others will email me too when they finally get on to read the prayer request.
12:00 Noon - I hear from Buz again:
My friends and relatives,
Never - NEVER - underestimate the power your prayers have. I just received a call from my son Tony and he said, they are going to be released and are bringing Maria home. Yesterday - it seemed almost certain that her symptoms were caused by some sort of seizures she was having. They told Tony & Linda the EEG was normal and that if she had had any seizures the EEG would have shown some irregularities even though she didn't have any during the time she was being monitored. So they cancelled the MRI and the spinal tap that would have followed if they had seen anything at all. This was the concenses of the staff of doctors and not just one opinion. They said sometimes newborns (Maria is 4 months old) do strange and goofy things that seem abnormal but might only be part of their development. Anyway - they (and we) will watch her closely at home and if this continues - then they will do further testing. The consensus is - Maria Lynn is okay and very healthy.
I never expected this quick of a result. I credit this as a response by God to the very special prayers and good intentions of all of you. So thank-you for them and for your concern and for the very nice reply's I have received from you.
Needless to say - I am flying very high right now
God bless you all,
7:00 PM - A turmoil of emotions played with our heartstrings today. Like a tug-o-war. Buz's last email was a catharsis for a very emotional unknown just a day ago - and now we are blessed with such good news. God is merciful - and God is great! And Maria is so beautiful - alive with laughter and love. Happy Birthday Buz - your 59th? What a wonderful birthday gift.