Remembering Mama Today

I'm wearing your Egyptian cartouch today, Mom. It was speaking to me from the jewelry box and as I picked it up to read your name, Ida, in hieroglyphics, I could remember how excited you were when I returned from Kuwait a few years ago and had given this to you. My umteenth trip to Cairo was full of adventure as usual, but that isn't what I am remembering today. Today is exactly 217 days since you have passed away into that heavenly abyss - a place deep in my imagination that comforts me when I think of you and dad together - he has his arms around you and you are with your sweetheart. I don't have much to say today Mom but I just had this memory because of the cartouch. I just read another blog today written by another Pamela Allegretto who lives in Connecticut. She's an artist and a writer too. And guess what? She wrote a poem about her Mama. That is what I called you too. Her poem reminded me so much of what I feel for you, Mom. I love you. I miss you more than words can ever convey. If I had only known. But then God was so good, I won't complain. You had such a quality of life and I am so very proud of the legacy you left us Mom. I love you and I send you my kisses....and by the way, your nose is still in my way! Kisses from afar - your loving daughter, Pam

Shadows

I woke up in a shadow this morning, trying to find my way to reality. I wavered. I cautiously turned to find the wall switch, but suddenly opened my eyes to the evening news on my recliner. It was not morning at all. The internal clock had somehow confused me as I drifted in and out of consciousness. I heard Mom calling me as she walked in the kitchen but then the shadow blurred my memory again. Silence. Where am I? Responding to Mom's call was impossible. My lips were frozen and I wondered if she saw me. Ringggggg. The phone alarmed me but I found myself fumbling for words of intelligence in spite of my stupor. "We are calling to find out if you have found any health insurance yet because we are offering a major medical for individuals....blah blah blah...." Click. I hung up on the unwelcome call. I'm also pissed because I was having a moment with Mom when someone so rudely interrupted. Now I will have to wait until she sometime again decides to penetrate my shadow and come to visit me from the heavens.